


the nights jemma loved

by letusbebrave



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 14:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letusbebrave/pseuds/letusbebrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I loved her, and sometimes, she loved me too.” – Pablo Neruda</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. she loved me (some nights) | skye

* * *

You wonder if she has a schedule. ( _She doesn’t_ ).

What nights belong to whom? You doubt she does though. She’s far too classy for that. Instead, you like to think she goes where her heart takes her. On some nights, that’s to you. On others, she’s alone. Thinking about her going to Ward… it’s not something you like to do often ( _although you know she’s going to him most of the other nights)_.

She kisses you and all inhibitions fade away.

 _Paradise_.

You don’t trouble yourself worrying about if Ward feels the same way as you do.

How could anyone feel anything but paradise when she presses her lips against theirs?

She lays in your bed and you whimper as she takes you.

Every night should be like this.

The best nights are the ones where she says your name with such intensity. Her eyes catch yours and it’s _magical_.

You don’t fool yourself with thinking that she will pick you. You’ve never been picked. Instead, you take all she gives you. You don’t control her—how could you possibly? Sometimes it’s hard not to say anything when she looks at Ward with the same look as she does you. Those nights are the hardest when you know she’s with him.

You gain some comfort knowing that Ward seems just as love-struck as you. It’s not a surprise that he follows her around like a puppy ( _you wonder if she’s pulled this on Fitz with the way he follows her_ ). Giggles erupt from her when Ward makes a joke and it takes everything within you to not want to punch him in the face. ( _She takes you a little harder that night. Turned on by the jealousy she knows you possess.)_  

She juggles both of you easily. It’s only on the night that she jumps out of the plane that she has both of you in one night. There’s no touching between the two of you, except for the brush of hands when touching her. There are tears from everyone, not that Ward would ever admit it. You know he cares about her on an equal scale. You cry and she tries to kiss away the tears. She’s the most important person in your life and you almost lost her. It reminded you why you don’t let people in. Reminds you that she’s the only family that you’ve got.  

You smirk in victory when she comes with _your_ name on her lips. ( _Although, he’s already won by jumping out of the plane after her_ ).

It’s not a coincidence that she wears her hair up on nights that she’s going to be with you. She knows that you can’t resist her neck. It’s a subtle signal that you have something to leave your door unlocked for. The days that she wears her hair down ( _he can’t resist the idea of wrapping her hair within his fingers)_ —you can almost see Ward stand taller. You try to make sure those days you train harder; you keep Ward away from Jemma until the night.

You love her. The words fall out of your mouth like snowflakes from the sky. Some nights she shushes you with a stroke of her fingers—on others, she just looks at you.

And on rare occasions ( _the best occasions_ ), she whispers the words back to you. 


	2. (other nights) she loved me | grant

* * *

Rule one: don’t get attached.  

You broke that rule as soon as you kissed her.

Simmons is strange and annoying—but you start to like that. You kissed her just to shut her up. You didn’t expect her to reach up on her toes to kiss you back. You didn’t expect for that to lead to you _fucking_ her against a lab table.

You should have stopped it long ago when you found out that she was sleeping with Skye. It would have been the perfect out for you. You don’t get attached.

None of this should have gone this far, but she’s _intoxicating_.

She makes you into a fool with the way you almost fall upon your knees in front of her. She brings out the better part of you when she looks at you with _that_ look. Simmons knows that it isn’t easy to be you. When she takes you within her arms, you can feel her soothing you without words.

 _My hero_.

The words can sound wonderful coming from her lips, but other times, they feel like a blade in his side. There was a night where you told her everything. Her fingers brushed through your hair as you spilled your secrets. She knows how many people you’ve killed—how many people you’ve _lost_. You tell her about your brother and the _anger_ within you. You don’t lie to her—you’re _so_ used to lying. 

When she jumps out of the airplane, there is no hesitation when you fly after her. You cover your tears with the salt water as she hangs unconscious in your arms for hours. Skye cries when she returns to the plane.

You make sure that Jemma knows how much you care that night. You remind her that it’s _her_ that’s the brave one. ( _and even it’s Skye who makes her fall apart the first time that night, you’re the one who catches her when she does, whispering “I got you”)_

Her patience with you runs out when you’re taken with rage.

She always knows. Jemma always know exactly what you need.

It doesn’t surprise you when she pulls you into the closet and lets you take her against the wall, your rage disappearing with every thrust.

Your jealousy only turns her on. Jemma knows what she’s doing when she flirts.

You sleep with May—but it doesn’t work. Your thoughts of filled of British accents and a _soft_ frame. Even though you’re not the sharing type, you make an exception for Jemma.  You take what you get.

Jemma has you. And you have her ( _because it feels like you have her whole heart when she’s with you)_.

She laughs with you, cries with you—you don’t need to question what she does with Skye. She takes you the way you are. There isn’t any want to “fix” you like some feel the need to. Jemma doesn’t mind exactly who you are.

You expect her when her hair is down. She knows how it calms you ( _quiets the rage that still has an effect on you_ ) when you are able to just run your fingers through it. It doesn’t bother you that Skye tries to distract you for the entire day. Jemma will you be yours for the night.

She never whimpers the wrong name when you’re together. Jemma is completely genuine when she comes to you. She’s where she wants to be—and that’s the most important thing to you.

Sometimes she’ll whisper that she loves you.

( _you believe her)_


	3. (every night) i loved | jemma

* * *

You kiss them both for the first time within the same week.

Their kisses taste different

Pain radiates through you when you remember that eventually this perfect juggling act you have… it will come falling down around you. You don’t want to think about that.

You can’t chose between them. One without the other seems pointless. You can’t give one up—you _won’t_. It’s selfish. You deserve to be selfish for once. It’s both of them, or nothing.

You fell in love with them differently ( _wonderfully)_.

It’s okay to have both of them. 

They both chose you. You didn’t force their hands—they’ve stayed because of _you_.

Grant needs you.

He’s a piece of art ( _more history underneath his skin then he would ever care to admit_ ). A superhero that’s lost his cape. He needs reminding of this. Ward needs the comfort of your kiss. You love providing that for him. Grant makes you giggle like a schoolgirl and cry like a mother.  

He’ll catch you when you fall.

There is mystery about Skye. You want to see the end of the puzzle. You don’t get the puzzle box picture to reference—every day is a new beginning. Every day with her you figure her out a bit more.

Skye brings out parts of yourself that you never knew about. You learn how you like to be in charge. There’s something _breathtaking_ about making Skye fall apart at a swipe of your tongue. She hands the power to you open handed.

You’re the family that she’s never had—you want to be that family. Skye deserves to have that security with her life. You refuse to break that trust.

She _needs_ you. She kisses you like she knows that everything is so fragile. She kisses you and it makes you weep because she’s terrified of you ( _the power you have over them is too much)_.

She’d give you up if that were what you wanted.

They both need you. And you need both of them.

They both completely own your heart. It’s an impossible choice between the two of them. You can’t split your heart for them, just like you can’t split an atom ( _or at least, not yet_ ).

They’re different and similar. You see them together often. Both looking at you like you’re the only thing that they need ( _it’s terrifying_ ).

You appreciate beauty.

It’s why you keep them both. They’re both too beautiful to let go, too broken to set free.

You love them both.

_(always)_


End file.
